Day 8- The Day of the Garden and a Short Workout


So up this morning relatively early for a day which I don’t have to work or do the school run. This was in aid of taking the husband to his hospital appointment, a follow-up from his ear surgery two weeks ago. The surgeon was as funny as ever commenting on my knitting sugar skull tattoo with it is nice reminds me of burritos and I like burritos. What a jovial positive person. I like that in a surgeon or doctor makes news a bit easier. It wasn’t too good news though. A CT scan and one possibly two more surgeries for him however, the surgeon is quite confident that his hearing will be restored once this is finished. A small price to pay not to lose something that is so important to all of us. He is now worrying about it to say the least. I am being positive saying that we won’t worry about it until we find out there is something to worry about and at this time there is not. The surgeon said he hoped it would be a simple removal of a polyp however my husband is a very complicated man and it turned out to be a bit more than that.

All we can do is wait. So once we got home from that and picking up the kids I decided that it was warm enough and I had to get rid of the jungle. The jungle was getting so bad that I was loosing both my dogs in its lush greenery. I was two weeks away from dressing up the dogs has lions and selling tickets to come see it. The husband got put back to bed as he had to work night shift and the surgeon did something to his ear with some silver nitrate. Oooh burny. Three hours it took me to get the garden to the state above. I mowed. I strimmed. I cut. I fell in a hole the dogs had dug trying to get to the other side of the world. I found the dreaded vine coming over the fence is in fact a blackberry bush. Yum, blackberries. I hate you bush. I hacked it to bits. I don’t care about blackberry cobbler you must die!

So that was done with a lot of blood, sweat and tears. Blood, cause every time I reset the strimmer a piece would fly into my leg and give me a small hole. Sweat, cause it was just bloody hot you know! Tears, stupid sweat in my eyes. I bet I have a stupid tan line as well arrrgh. Oh well the first stage has been done as you can see there is still rocks piled up I have to get rid of them. No clue what I am going to do. At the moment what I am going to do is get rid of the rubbish and move the rocks to a corner. Anybody want some rocks?

After this I successfully made the frog spawn some lasagna. Got the little one in for a bath and sent them to bed. I then decided no I won’t miss my exercise for today. I’ll just do a shorter one. So a 20 minute ab workout will be fine. No. Just no. I couldn’t give it anymore than I did after the gardening. Just so spent. I guess 200 calories isn’t so bad and I was still so sweaty. The picture doesn’t do it justice I was well sweaty and drippy. Bed is calling me with twinkle twinkle little bat, how I wonder where you’re at.

Goodnight all

Tomorrow is another day (A school day! Whaaat?!)

Just Get Up


Day 7- Happy Monday

OK so it was sunny today. Hints squinty face above. No exercise today as this is one of my two rest days to try to recover. Also my ankle is sore. Work today want too bad. It actually  went by quite quickly. My mood seems to be on the up. Hurrah! Tomorrow I’m gonna attempt a workout and the jungle needs to be tidied up workout. By jungle I mean the garden. Every day I have been off it has rained. I’m now loosing my dogs in the weeds so I best get it done before they can’t find their way home. 

Tomorrow is another day.

Remember to always get up!

Day 6-Rest Day….or is it?

Not really a rest day as I have been to work. So tired. Well done to team GB on their medals today 2nd in the table. Just remember they are number 1 if we calculated medals per population. Smaller country smaller pool of people to choose from. Love it. Hard work pays off.

Keep getting up.

Day 5 Blisters and All


Day 5 and I am still at it albeit in the evenings and not the mornings. I was up at a sort of decent time 9am. After acquiring two sets of golf  clubs for the princely sum of £45 I decided that they needed to be used. So I got up took a shower and put on my golfing attire while trying to get the mister and two children ready and out the door. Unfortunately this is one thing that takes minutes if not hours to happen. So after being up and dressed by 10am we were out the door at…..12:15. Once the munchkins were safely deposited at their Granny’s and the car’s thirst met at the petrol station we were off.

We arrived at the golf clubhouse at 1pm at which point we manoeuvred ourselves and golf clubs in to get a place at the driving range. What I found out about my swing: 1. I really can’t use a 1 wood worth anything the ball tends to bounce across the grass; 2. If I look at the ball constantly while swinging I am more likely to hit it (boo yah); 3. We go through 100 golf balls really quickly; 4. Gloves. Gloves are necessary if you don’t want a hole in your left hand which stings a lot! and 5. I actually like it!  Next week it is down with the whole clan…..Lets see how this goes.

After 45 minutes of driving balls we had a quick bite to eat and after a really quick shop the little angels (monsters) were collected. Back home again and another workout session. 35 minutes of pure sweat. Does that count as too workouts? I dunno but I am knackered and have to be at work in the morning by 9am yay! Another 12 hour shift. I am sure I will be too tired to exercise tomorrow evening however I am confident I will still get up. It still isn’t easy but I am getting there.

Tomorrow is another day!

Remember to keep getting up!

Day 4- A day with two workouts!


So yet again I found myself up last night watching the Olympics. Team GB is doing fantastically well and I have been glued to the telly. Even though this is only my adopted country I choose to support the British team rather than for the USA as it has always been expected that Team USA would win medals. Britain, not so much. I find that in this country their is plenty of oportunities to rise above what is seen to be your station by using s ports. Sports in this country seem to be accessible to all walks of life if you want to try it. Some may be more expensive than others but if  you have a dream and a goal you can succeed as there are funding places available which is absolutely amazing. Just in my daughter’s primary school she was able to try fencing which was something I would have never thought of trying when I was her age as I saw this a sport for the rich. This sort of accessibility to sport is something I feel that the USA is lacking in and needs to get better at. Hopefully one day this will happen. For the moment and the foreseeable future I will be rooting for my adopted country, thecountry of my husband and my children; Great Britain and Scotland.

Going back to the original topic I ended getting up at 7am after going to sleep at 1am again. I wandered to the bathroom and yet again the toilet was blocked. I don’t know what them kids flushed down the toilet but it was stuck good. This meant that I ended up rushing my shower and driving into town to get a plunger and drain unblocker. I swear to god if that thing blocks again I’m calling the Council to get them to sort out the drains. I think that this flat has a drainage problem grrrrr. I digress. After that I made it to Pilates for my 45 minute class. I enjoy Pilates as it helps me to walk after having severe sciatica and back issues after my youngest frog spawn was born. Stretching and lots of core strengthing later I came back to the house where I proceeded to flake out on the sofa, again. After coming to and getting his royal nibs up we sorted out my car insurance. A completely dull job you might think however, when you get the quote down by £30 just by negotiating with them that is a total fist bump, high five kinda moment. Boo Yah in your face insurance company!

After getting the husband to complete this momentus task and seeing him off to work I felt like I should get up to complete my daily chores after watching some more British wins on the Olympics. Did I? Did I hell I flaked out again. I must have the most comfy sofa ever made the amount of times that I have been flaking out on it currently. When I woke up from this nap I proceeded to feed and water the spawn, hung up the clothes and washed the dishes before completing another 35 minutes worth of exercising as shown in the above picture. Whereas I love my Microsoft Band 2 I am sure I must of have burned more calories as I was sweating so much. It might have been due to the weights though as my heart rate drops when I do weights. Yet again I totally recommend Millionare Hoy when it comes to free exercise videos on You Tube. He has some monthly challenge ones which will keep you going as well as there are some beginner workouts and he always shows a lower level option in the top right hand corner. This is good for me as I cannot jump due to my weight and back issues. Well that is a completion of four days of exercising. One more day this week then a rest day on Sunday which I will still supply a picture for my daily selfie and maybe a different kind of blog.

Remember to always Get Up!

Day 3 Lazy Day

So this morning was a bust. Didn’t go to sleep till 1:30am again. Let’s say plumbing issues. I spent most of my morning watching a whole ITV series called Brief Encounters. It’s about women who sell Ann Summers in the 80s and their personal lives. It was really good. However, due to this I didn’t get my exercise in until 5:30pm. Lazy person. 40 mins this time. I felt I could have went harder. Ack. Better luck next time. My food though has been horrible today in which I mean I only ate once and had some small snacks. I think this may be due to my lazy nature again today. Head was just not in it at all. But I still got up and the results are shown above. Yes I am wearing the same shirt as yesterday. I have 3 for volunteering with the kiddle winkles at Sky Living for Sport day out. It’s amazing by the way having a bunch of top notch athletes and and some screaming kids playing different sports.  Really gets you in the feels. 

Tomorrow is another day!

Get up Day 2


So I was up this morning at 6:45 after going to sleep at about 1:30am. It was a day of waiting. I took a quick shower before the joiner and plumber came to sort our shower out. Regulated to the comfort of the living room with the dogs I flaked out about four times before the shower was done at about 2pm. I am now the proud renter of a flat with a decent shower and I can now take baths without another shower head hitting me in the face or doing chinese water torture on me while I try to relax with the incessant dripping of cold water on my head! Lush bath bombs here we come!

As I was watching the Olympics (today’s coverage of the women’s and men’s time trial, kayaking, Judo, archery and equestrian) totally wishing I was that sporty; I didn’t get to exercising until 7pm. Today I decided I would do 20 mins hard-core standing abs courtesy of Millionare Hoy on You Tube. I would totally recommend his workouts as they are hard but well worth it. His banter keeps your mind off how much longer this is going to take and focuses you on your goal. Cheers for the sweat. Tomorrow’s goal is a morning workout and another day without chocolate or ice cream. One day at a time. I will just keep getting up.


Get Back Up


On the 29th of May this year I completed my first real run/jog/walk as fast as my little legs would take me in the Edinburgh Half Marathon. I raised money for Macmillian Cancer support in memory of my Dad and my Aunt both of whom I had lost to cancer. It was a big ask but hey I did it in 3 hrs 9 mins and blah blah seconds. Here is my picture to prove it!half marathon

It was amazingly good fun and I had a friend by my side spurring me on however, once it was over I had an overwhelming sense of pain. I had my legs massaged by the lovely support workers before making my way to the car. The car that my lovely husband parked 2 miles away from the finish! During this walk my knee went pop and my sciatica started playing up. Well not to bother I would get a hot bath and massage later (inner yay!) We then made our way to get some lunch. Fairly normal you would have though but no not for this Bipolar Mama. Food is my ultimate go to coping device when I have an episode. It is how I have always coped from the age of 5 until now. This means that I have had a 30 year love/hate relationship with the stuff that keeps me alive. Great fun.

I had been keeping a pretty clean diet for the previous 60 days before the run. Only allowing myself 2 tins of Dr Pepper Zero at most a day. In one fail swoop a burger ruined not only my diet but my entire mood for 10 weeks. Let’s be honest there has been other extenuating circumstances that have also contributed to this fall from health but the burger definitely pushed me over the top. That and the subsequent soreness from the 13.1 miles. Sometimes I really hate my brain but its mine and I just have to deal with it.

So for the last 10 weeks I have been eating myself stupid. Ice cream, chocolate, pizza and chips these are my go to foods. I eat them then hate myself for eating them then I do it again. It’s a vicious cycle that I am loath to break however, once in a while there comes a light bulb moment when I say I can’t live like this anymore. The depressive periods come and go like the changing of the tide. I am quite lucky just now that they are less frequent than they have been in the past. Why thank you Citalopram you do what Prozac, Zoloft, Fluxotine etc etc could not do in the past; give me some stability and the ability to be a functioning person with a mental health disorder.

This all aside the main thing that I have had to focus on is getting up. Before now in the midst of an episode I could not tell myself to get up. Get up you have to go to work. Get up your children need you. Get up your husband needs you. JUST GET UP! For some odd reason these words would never help me in the past but for some reason this year my 35-year-old brain has gone ‘hey! there might be something with this whole get up malarkey.’ It might be the fact that I need to show my children, especially my 11-year-old daughter that I can do this. Mummy is strong and can change her life. She isn’t scared of going back to college to teach children that they are worth so much more than they think. New things aren’t so scary.

So, for the last 10 weeks I have been telling myself if you don’t get up it has won and we can’t let it win. It has won too many times, the bipolar. This time I got up. I went to work. I did my job. I came home. I played Pokémon. I went to Pilates. I only really failed in regards to food and exercise. My walks and HIIT sessions were sporadic at best and I filled my plate with horrible fatty totally un clean foods. I have made myself a promise that starts today. For the next 61 days I will post a selfie a day whether it is sweaty or not; with make up or without I will do this as I fight to regain my health again. To get up. Why 61 days? I am off to the US to see my family in 62 days but when I come back I will re start this.

So above is my first selfie along with my exercise for today. I have been putting clean food back into my diet for the last 3 days and have not had any sweets or chocolate. I am hoping I can do this before the Big Holiday. My main focus is for my head and heart both to be healthy as I start a new adventure in a couple of weeks. I need all the support I can get and I know that my family will be there for me which is a big plus. Next year I want to complete 3 runs and better my times so there are my goals.

To end this post for all those also suffering with any type of depression you can do this don’t let it win. You are not alone in this world, always remember to GET UP! Do not let it beat you. I will not let it beat me.

semicolon butteryfly

Don’t ever give up. Believe you can. Just Get up!

Waiting… pokeballs 

Well this is me. Waiting for my hubby to get out of surgery on his lug. I ran out of pokeballs so I’m bored. However they have a Costa 😎 win. I brought some knitting with me so I guess I’ll mosey on in at 11.  No makeup today and no filter. Though I will tell you when using rainbow highlighter put the blue at the top or you look like you have bruises. Lol. I’m totally being positive bout the surgery though. Boo Bear maybe left deaf in one ear but that would be no different than the last year or to be honest the selective hearing he has had for all our 12 year marriage. He has some sexy socks on though! Woo woo!