Day 4- A day with two workouts!

So yet again I found myself up last night watching the Olympics. Team GB is doing fantastically well and I have been glued to the telly. Even though this is only my adopted country I choose to support the British team rather than for the USA as it has always been expected that Team USA would win medals. Britain, not so much. I find that in this country their is plenty of oportunities to rise above what is seen to be your station by using s ports. Sports in this country seem to be accessible to all walks of life if you want to try it. Some may be more expensive than others but if  you have a dream and a goal you can succeed as there are funding places available which is absolutely amazing. Just in my daughter’s primary school she was able to try fencing which was something I would have never thought of trying when I was her age as I saw this a sport for the rich. This sort of accessibility to sport is something I feel that the USA is lacking in and needs to get better at. Hopefully one day this will happen. For the moment and the foreseeable future I will be rooting for my adopted country, thecountry of my husband and my children; Great Britain and Scotland.

Going back to the original topic I ended getting up at 7am after going to sleep at 1am again. I wandered to the bathroom and yet again the toilet was blocked. I don’t know what them kids flushed down the toilet but it was stuck good. This meant that I ended up rushing my shower and driving into town to get a plunger and drain unblocker. I swear to god if that thing blocks again I’m calling the Council to get them to sort out the drains. I think that this flat has a drainage problem grrrrr. I digress. After that I made it to Pilates for my 45 minute class. I enjoy Pilates as it helps me to walk after having severe sciatica and back issues after my youngest frog spawn was born. Stretching and lots of core strengthing later I came back to the house where I proceeded to flake out on the sofa, again. After coming to and getting his royal nibs up we sorted out my car insurance. A completely dull job you might think however, when you get the quote down by £30 just by negotiating with them that is a total fist bump, high five kinda moment. Boo Yah in your face insurance company!

After getting the husband to complete this momentus task and seeing him off to work I felt like I should get up to complete my daily chores after watching some more British wins on the Olympics. Did I? Did I hell I flaked out again. I must have the most comfy sofa ever made the amount of times that I have been flaking out on it currently. When I woke up from this nap I proceeded to feed and water the spawn, hung up the clothes and washed the dishes before completing another 35 minutes worth of exercising as shown in the above picture. Whereas I love my Microsoft Band 2 I am sure I must of have burned more calories as I was sweating so much. It might have been due to the weights though as my heart rate drops when I do weights. Yet again I totally recommend Millionare Hoy when it comes to free exercise videos on You Tube. He has some monthly challenge ones which will keep you going as well as there are some beginner workouts and he always shows a lower level option in the top right hand corner. This is good for me as I cannot jump due to my weight and back issues. Well that is a completion of four days of exercising. One more day this week then a rest day on Sunday which I will still supply a picture for my daily selfie and maybe a different kind of blog.

Remember to always Get Up!

Day 3 Lazy Day

So this morning was a bust. Didn’t go to sleep till 1:30am again. Let’s say plumbing issues. I spent most of my morning watching a whole ITV series called Brief Encounters. It’s about women who sell Ann Summers in the 80s and their personal lives. It was really good. However, due to this I didn’t get my exercise in until 5:30pm. Lazy person. 40 mins this time. I felt I could have went harder. Ack. Better luck next time. My food though has been horrible today in which I mean I only ate once and had some small snacks. I think this may be due to my lazy nature again today. Head was just not in it at all. But I still got up and the results are shown above. Yes I am wearing the same shirt as yesterday. I have 3 for volunteering with the kiddle winkles at Sky Living for Sport day out. It’s amazing by the way having a bunch of top notch athletes and and some screaming kids playing different sports.  Really gets you in the feels. 

Tomorrow is another day!

Get up Day 2

So I was up this morning at 6:45 after going to sleep at about 1:30am. It was a day of waiting. I took a quick shower before the joiner and plumber came to sort our shower out. Regulated to the comfort of the living room with the dogs I flaked out about four times before the shower was done at about 2pm. I am now the proud renter of a flat with a decent shower and I can now take baths without another shower head hitting me in the face or doing chinese water torture on me while I try to relax with the incessant dripping of cold water on my head! Lush bath bombs here we come!

As I was watching the Olympics (today’s coverage of the women’s and men’s time trial, kayaking, Judo, archery and equestrian) totally wishing I was that sporty; I didn’t get to exercising until 7pm. Today I decided I would do 20 mins hard-core standing abs courtesy of Millionare Hoy on You Tube. I would totally recommend his workouts as they are hard but well worth it. His banter keeps your mind off how much longer this is going to take and focuses you on your goal. Cheers for the sweat. Tomorrow’s goal is a morning workout and another day without chocolate or ice cream. One day at a time. I will just keep getting up.

 

Get Back Up

On the 29th of May this year I completed my first real run/jog/walk as fast as my little legs would take me in the Edinburgh Half Marathon. I raised money for Macmillian Cancer support in memory of my Dad and my Aunt both of whom I had lost to cancer. It was a big ask but hey I did it in 3 hrs 9 mins and blah blah seconds. Here is my picture to prove it!

It was amazingly good fun and I had a friend by my side spurring me on however, once it was over I had an overwhelming sense of pain. I had my legs massaged by the lovely support workers before making my way to the car. The car that my lovely husband parked 2 miles away from the finish! During this walk my knee went pop and my sciatica started playing up. Well not to bother I would get a hot bath and massage later (inner yay!) We then made our way to get some lunch. Fairly normal you would have though but no not for this Bipolar Mama. Food is my ultimate go to coping device when I have an episode. It is how I have always coped from the age of 5 until now. This means that I have had a 30 year love/hate relationship with the stuff that keeps me alive. Great fun.

I had been keeping a pretty clean diet for the previous 60 days before the run. Only allowing myself 2 tins of Dr Pepper Zero at most a day. In one fail swoop a burger ruined not only my diet but my entire mood for 10 weeks. Let’s be honest there has been other extenuating circumstances that have also contributed to this fall from health but the burger definitely pushed me over the top. That and the subsequent soreness from the 13.1 miles. Sometimes I really hate my brain but its mine and I just have to deal with it.

So for the last 10 weeks I have been eating myself stupid. Ice cream, chocolate, pizza and chips these are my go to foods. I eat them then hate myself for eating them then I do it again. It’s a vicious cycle that I am loath to break however, once in a while there comes a light bulb moment when I say I can’t live like this anymore. The depressive periods come and go like the changing of the tide. I am quite lucky just now that they are less frequent than they have been in the past. Why thank you Citalopram you do what Prozac, Zoloft, Fluxotine etc etc could not do in the past; give me some stability and the ability to be a functioning person with a mental health disorder.

This all aside the main thing that I have had to focus on is getting up. Before now in the midst of an episode I could not tell myself to get up. Get up you have to go to work. Get up your children need you. Get up your husband needs you. JUST GET UP! For some odd reason these words would never help me in the past but for some reason this year my 35-year-old brain has gone ‘hey! there might be something with this whole get up malarkey.’ It might be the fact that I need to show my children, especially my 11-year-old daughter that I can do this. Mummy is strong and can change her life. She isn’t scared of going back to college to teach children that they are worth so much more than they think. New things aren’t so scary.

So, for the last 10 weeks I have been telling myself if you don’t get up it has won and we can’t let it win. It has won too many times, the bipolar. This time I got up. I went to work. I did my job. I came home. I played Pokémon. I went to Pilates. I only really failed in regards to food and exercise. My walks and HIIT sessions were sporadic at best and I filled my plate with horrible fatty totally un clean foods. I have made myself a promise that starts today. For the next 61 days I will post a selfie a day whether it is sweaty or not; with make up or without I will do this as I fight to regain my health again. To get up. Why 61 days? I am off to the US to see my family in 62 days but when I come back I will re start this.

So above is my first selfie along with my exercise for today. I have been putting clean food back into my diet for the last 3 days and have not had any sweets or chocolate. I am hoping I can do this before the Big Holiday. My main focus is for my head and heart both to be healthy as I start a new adventure in a couple of weeks. I need all the support I can get and I know that my family will be there for me which is a big plus. Next year I want to complete 3 runs and better my times so there are my goals.

To end this post for all those also suffering with any type of depression you can do this don’t let it win. You are not alone in this world, always remember to GET UP! Do not let it beat you. I will not let it beat me.

Don’t ever give up. Believe you can. Just Get up!